I haven't.
It interests me that we can't really even talk about the show. Jesting lightly doesn't happen when we reminisce. I hear the word Vietnam and cringe. I try to change the subject as quickly as possible. It's too painful to dwell on it.
This play was like "no other time, no other place on earth." It is a place we can never go back to. And to some extent, I don't want to go back. I have new things in my life that make me happy and stress was HIGH during that process. But that doesn't mean it hasn't stopped haunting me.
I think we sometimes even avoid each other now that it's over. I read somewhere that many women did that in returning to America after serving in Nam. They avoided each other and the subject of what happened for many years. It really really hurts to look back on a world you can't return to. I'm not going to pretend like I know anything about serving in the army or that I've been to Vietnam, but I feel that A Piece of My Heart let me feel the smallest bit of these emotions. In our very small way, we had our own Nam with our own laughter and tears and battles and triumphs.
I took a risk tonight and allowed myself to thumb through the script. Every syllable comes to life for me and I choke on it.
Ladies, do you remember when we tried to learn the Star of David blocking in Tet and bandaging imaginary men? Or when we first saw the wall? When Rose nailed that scene for the first time? When the veterans cried? Placing our props on the sand? Proud Mary? Do you remember the worst moments? The best? Do you allow yourself to remember?
I miss you all and though we may never "serve" together again, I will always always love you more than you know.
I'm not sure why I'm writing this. Maybe I'm seeking a catharsis. Maybe I'm just sad.
I think this experience has a hold on my heart that will take a while to release.
